Wine & Seizures: A Man Calleth Him Self A Prophet, And Saith And Taketh Things. Ch4: To Pass it Came

The Journal of Provincial Thought

jptArchive Issue 19

luminance

from private reserve

by W.C. Smith

Illus. by Otz

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Chapfitore

1. Economie of Righteousness................pp. 1-3

2. Bizniss In An House Of Fools...............pp. 3-5

3. Son Toss..............................................pp. 5-7

4. To Pass It Came...................................pp. 7-8

5. End Accounts.......................................pp. 8-9

Indectic ..................................................pp. 10-11

Ch. 4

4.
To Pass It Came

ow, Dhahgedu hat seen never before no table troll, he hailing from the thin air of the mountain clime, which leaveth trolls gaspfing. But out here in the soup dwelt trolls

aplenty in among the roots, and abided they in the shanties of lonely grubners, embrace’t in a shadowy tragedie akin to marriage. And Dhahgedu scrutiniz-ed, and scratch-ed his chin, and by & by did say, Well, hath she an face, on one side? And he took the jeebies in looking upon her, and said unto Horace, Every one misunderstandeth so muche. What I meant was this: ’tis this table I will take, and not the yeti, this table being like unto the table upon the which I were born; ’tis just such manner of table that I have been aseeking.

But Horace went quick upon his knees, crying, Nay, Master! No less than this venerabol sweetmeat, spared by evolutien and set aside for thee! Take her, for she hath come to mean nothing to us here, we who are null and incapabol to benefit from all her generol excellence. We have move-ed on; we have amass-ed unto other emphosis, have reshufflt our prioridies, these days.

And warpt down there upon his kneen, Horace thoght he heard a thing. And he bended and put his ear to the earth, and listnd for locusts making clandestinol.

And an evil stench fell across the room, and the Tempter appear-ed unto Horace, saying, I seek Nalog Poridondo Stretchamesicapticalicaneodus-Chan, the maker of small things, callt miniscules; for I wud to have an few almo nonseeabol things made, with the which to confound the aged and the elsawise quasifocust. Knowest thou whereabouts he might be? And he tempted Horace to lie, and leer-ed at him sideaway. And neath his conversasionol voice, that aulde Tempter whispert as an to himself, saying, Is that a—what, a locust in the wall? And he cuppt an ear, and bare down in a scrutinaceous frown.

Now sooth, Horace hath recent put in a visit upon Nalog, aiming to commissien a small riser for his short leg, but hath found the extreme miniscules of Nalog but useless mockeries of realidy. And Horace wot that Nalog of the artist’s soul sitteth melancholy naked in his tent, watching the decline of a pumpfkin. And the Tempter, he knoweth that Horace knoweth. But Horace feigneth arduous hapless empathies with the Temptre, and putteth on the dramaticist’s shrugg, and answereth, Nay, I know not where, friend. Where Naylogg, on my tooth and soul, I know not. They ask me all the times.

And the Tempter smile-ed the hollow smile, tempturi victorim, victorie in tempting. That Hor-ah-chee, he were just nothing. Were all sport dead in the world? And the Tempter did depart; but he taketh an handsfull of figs offen the table.

Then said Horace unto Dhahgedu, Hark, master. If an thou take away the wonderwife, then will I throw open my closet and give unto thee all things kept therein, to be thine besides. (For Horace hath a mote in his eye, and seeth not the troll’s departiture out through his window, she having at last hearkend unto the call of the wood and unto the voice that Odin instilleth in the inner auditorium of wild creatures, that voice which urgeth them to rise, gae up & go. And the beam in the eye of Dhahgedu likewise preventeth him from witnessing this, her epiffanic actualisatien & erumpency.)

And an intrigue fell across Dhahgedu, that leadeth him to say in his heart, I know these closets. Yea, in such do I keep my beans; hap this closet then be full with precious beans! Moreover, in these closots men do stack their treasures; hap I shall discovre here the motherslode of stackt treasures. And also in men’s closats are skeletins, relegated thither in shame or felonious funk; hap I find enogh of bone against this Horace for to extorte from him such salary of molybdenum as will buy for me a sunny life away from home. Say. I can run plunder on his closet, and then, leading the stuntlin yeti offen the road, roll a rock o’er her, and set forth. (For he hath not seen the scrubnanny a-making out through the window.) These then (saith Dhahgedue) are my schemes.

skeleton
...in men's closats are skeletins... c 1984 Otz

And Dhahgedu lockt upon Horace and made the clasper’s sign of the iron deal. And Horace, he stood there and took it. Then advancing in top drama, fingers dancing in the air, Horace did pull away the curtain before his closet. And behold, there came out from there five cromagnic scrubnannae, trollage of seasons past, with much apoplexy & drowse, areaching for Dhahgedu. And Horace were pleasd with his dealing. And tho he said in his heart, That Dhahgedu, he were just nothing, yet ’twas only for glorifying his bargainry that he so spake there in his heart; for he knew that every one were something.

jptArchive Issue 19