The Book of Wine & Seizures by W.C. Smith - Book 3 - INDECTIC and Turkey Talk w Author's Spokesperson

The Journal of Provincial Thought

luminance

TURKEY TALK WITH THE AUTHOR’S SPOKESPERSON

Questions that have been forwarded to The Author concerning “The Severely Laden Cart”:

Q: What became of the dominant genies when the cart fell? There is no mention of them hanging on roots like the other passengers.
A: “The texts do not specify. Some scholars believe that the djinnis had departed before the cart tumbled. Others say they climbed to safety and departed. Some speculate that they vanished like veritable genies. Some believe that they perished in the chasm. I tend toward the view that they were left hanging along with their companions; this seems implicit.”

Q: Who was Blabbar de Bando?
A: “The texts do not specify. Events were often contexted to the tenures of regional officials, on the supposition that those persons and their places in the progression of government would be remembered and thus ‘date’ the events. On the other hand, sometimes events were contexted to other individuals who the scribe thought certain to merit humanity’s eternal recollection. Both situations are unfortunate. There were calendars even then, brilliantly derived, available and begging for application in structuring History, but these were treated as parlor toys for children. No external texts have been found that mention B de B.”

Q: What was the Serenity Stone?
A: “The Serenity Stone was an artifact said to have been telepathically ported to our world by psychic alien vampires either from another dimension or from a twin-sister planet of Earth’s situated directly on the other side of the sun such that it is never seen. …Nahhh, seriously, nobody has a clue. Perhaps nothing more than a common metaphor for domestic tranquility: ‘How’s you-guys’ Serenity Stone, after Sheba learned of your recent infidelity?’ ‘A bit cracked, sure enough. Our loud disagreements are heard across the river. Her weeping is ruining her face, so that I am tempted to sin again.’”

Q: Did the name “Hoho” occurring in “The Severely Laden Cart” predate the use of that amusing name in other fictional works emerging in relatively recent years?
A: “Why, yes, it did! You’re welcome!”

Q: The wheel scholar. Wheels and noises.
A: “Ah, yes, the wheel scholar and her Grand Unifaxien Theoretic uniting the two sciences of wheels and sound. Quite.”

Please. The Author must rest now. He will be happy to entertain more of your fireside questions at a later time. Please send them, care of this publication, addressed to Wine & Seizures Spokesperson, followed by any sequences of numbers of your choice. I shall arrange your enquiries for The Author’s attention. He does not mind spending his remaining time in this way.

May you smile and see smiles.

YesterdayeGOE UP Forth to Beginning

jptArchive Issue 6

from The Book of Wine & Seizures --

_____________________________________________________________

Chapitre

1. The Ride of Derision pp. 1-2

2. The Call to the Carpet pp. 2-4

3. To the Seat of Wrath, A Rolling Carnivol of Penitents -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------pp. 5-6

4. Tragedie Upon Nine Differents Heavens pp. 7-11

5. Penitence Misst and Providense Lost p. 11-12

6. Indectic p. 13

ziss it?

nay

<<YEA

abominabol hags, 5

ark, 2

arrows, tigers, snakes, and swords, 4

beard most rampant, 7

bitesome wolf, 9

Blabbar de Bando’s hundred amateur wifes, 1

carpenters’ marbles, 2

carryall. See cart

cart of Muhh, 3

Citis Tyrannicus, 5

Creaking of Botherd Wheels, the dissertasiary, 6

cruisethrone, 12

Darbulliger, 1

Dicey Art Of Mixt Disciplins, 6

dominant genies, 5

dreams and witches, 3

dungeontester, 7

elophants, mux neath, 5

emaciate, the, 6

Endless irony, 12

Esperitus the Moo, 5

Familiaridy Breedeth Contumely, 4

Final Collatien, the, 4

fleeting joy of saving a few lifes, 11

fouled his figleaf, 9

four broken soldiers, 7

genderless child, 8

glazed being, the. See runt

good godding, 12

Grand Unifaxien Theoretic, 6

hairbarber, 7

hardloving lords, 11

heinous gravidy, 10

Highpitcht Office of the Namechanger, 4

hurryhounds, 8

intensity clowns, 1

jape the ape, 8

Ka-cho-kah. See Pernutria Hoho

Kreemling the Toy Tyrant, 1

learn-ed horses, 1

leave me godless, 12

lice upon some hordesman’s shag, 10

lions lay counting sheep, 2

lord, testiest, 3

mother’s cadaver, 6

Muhh, 2

Nine Differents Heavens, 7

Noah, 2

Nubb the Great Cranker, 1

overworldlin cronielordage, 12

patheddic hurryhounds. See hurryhounds

Pernutria Hoho, splendid halfwife, 5

plentyfingered Pluck-Angel, 11

profilis profundis, 7

Providence, 4, 5

provoke-ed wasps, 3

rejexion by a woman, 1

Rex the Tyrannical Horse, 2

rheumy pedants at Universidy, 6

ride of derisien, 1

rootsnaggarts, 8

rootsters, 7

runt, the, 5

scholar of Wheels, 6

scoury chickens, 3

Serenity Stone, 1

shepherd with two sheep, 7

Skwid of Torteloy, the, 5

soulless birdmilker, 7

spindragging, 2

spites and snubs of Histry, 1

stoic polisy of Null Intrusien., 11

subscholar of Noises, 6

testbird, 2

Todd the Teemster, 4

Trench of Mesphitophilus, 9

turn and part my robe at thee, 10

Tyrannical City, 5

vapours & bile, 3

weeping maiden & her suitor, 7

Whew, Groppobudtt, of Darbulliger, 1

whistlestone, 1

whizzstone, 1

wildbeardsman, 8

Pigasus the JPT flying pig, copyright 2008 William J. Schafer