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Ever committed to the health and prospects of our fellow denizens of the Animal Kingdom—we’ve addressed colony collapse disorder of bees (jpt #3), the pesticide slaughter of earwigs (jpt #6), the Clorox-bottle braining of mink (jpt #6), catastrophic demolition of domestic fowl habitat (jpt #5), clinical depression in caterpillers, and capitalism among migratory waterfowl—we have been following a protracted life-and-death competition, among the assorted fish species of the Northwest’s Columbia River, for habitat protection in a hyperlitigious atmosphere charged with institutional favoritism and the tyranny of powerful interests. |
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Just in from a notable colleague, Ichthyobus Schlime:
Following an exceedingly tedious multi-year legal battle in Judge Redden’s court, when northwestern fish continued to suffer while pontiffs and lawyers bought personal water craft and second homes, NOAA [National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration]-Fisheries boldly released their long-awaited Biological Opinion on the operation of the Federal Columbia River Power System (FCRPS; F-Craps for short). Naysayers immediately knocked down doors at media outlets, decreeing catastrophe in their provincial thoughts. Bonneville Power Administration[1] committed over a billion dollars to assure that habitat protection projects will have the financial backing to convince the Judge that they’ll get ’er done. In return, state and tribal beneficiaries signed Memoranda of Agreements to forsake their legal wrangling for 10 years and get back to work saving fish (novel idea that!). All were strong-armed to agree that salmon could be saved without breaching one or more Snake River Dams (even if dam breaching could benefit salmon, political support was lacking...primates always triumph over cold-blooded organisms). The so-called “Montana operation” was finally institutionalized after two decades of support by independent scientists and a unanimous vote by the Northwest Power and Conservation Council.
Oregon and certain lower Columbia tribes, who had the system by the short hairs since the first salmon listing under the Endangered Species Act, must now accommodate the needs of other ESA-listed species like bull trout and Kootenai white sturgeon, and less charismatic species in third-world countries like Montana and British Columbia. Vying for legitimacy, Oregon and certain lower Columbia tribes grew ever more shrill as their collective power orbited the event horizon near the bottom of the toilet bowl; upstream states and tribes shared a grin as the Doppler-effect scream of terror was overcome by the vortex of rushing water and the final sucking sound. Finally, the complex Columbia River may be viewed as a whole, and operated to benefit all fish and wildlife species, despite how many Congressmen or lobbyists you may or may not have. Perhaps less money will be spent on bureaucratic process and the cottage industry of professional meeting-goers. Perhaps success will be measured in terms of fish and habitat saved, instead of frequent flier miles earned [sound of champagne bottle opening]. ####
[1] BPA, headquartered in Oregon, is a Department of Energy federal agency that operates electricity transmission systems using electricity from dams, a nuclear plant, and other energy generation facilities.
Ed. note: In a Columbia River incident reported in jpt news (AP, May 5, 2008), six protected sea lions were found dead in traps that had been placed to collect them for transport from the Bonneville Dam area. Sea lion predation of salmon is a longstanding problem for fishermen. Initial reports that the animals had been shot created a storm of accusation, defense and recrimination, before examination of the carcasses revealed that death was not by shooting after all. Amid ongoing speculations, it is not known whether anyone considered the possibility of negligence in checking the traps and feeding the creatures.
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luminance
The jpt Naturalist
