The Journal of Provincial Thought

jptArchive Issue 6

luminance

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1) Stuff Smith, “Knock, Knock, Who’s There?” (Vocalion Records, 1936)

I.

Q. Knock, knock.
A. Who’s there?
Q.  Psychopathic Patois.
A.  Psychopathic Patois who?
Q. Psychopathic Patois, don’t you try to two-time me!*
(laughter, frenetic fiddle playing, etc.)

II.

Q. Ring, ring.
A. Who’s there?
Q. Ethyl.
A. Ethyl who?
Q. Ethyl gas.  No knock!**
(more laughter, frenetic fiddle playing, etc.)

* Cf. “Aggravatin’ Papa, Don’t You Try to Two-Time Me!”  Recorded by many bands and blues singers, ca. 1922.

** “No Knock” was the longtime copyrighted advertising motto of Ethyl (“leaded” or premium) gasoline.

2) George Washington Bridge

Unnerving ditty sung to the tune of “Sobre los olas” (aka. “Over the Waves”):

George Washington Bridge, George Washington Washington Bridge,
George Washington Bridge, George Washington Washington Bridge.
            (Sung grave et maestoso, repeated  da capo, ad infinitum)***

Excavated from campfires around the U.S. and retailed by the Ever-Blessed Bob & Ray.
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*** Alternate (international) version substitutes the name/phrase “John Millington Synge” for the text, but since no one on Planet Earth nowadays is literate enough to know who J.M. Synge was and why, it will seem as annoying as the gibberish denominated “rap” or “hip-hop” by those dismal and degraded enough to listen to it.

jptArchive Issue 6

Copyright 2008- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved

Note: jpt rappers and hip-hoppers hate this piece in general but especially for its perceived parting slap at their music. We note that a) we have all been slapped today and b) the alleged diss targets not rap or hip-hop but a certain pretentious gibberish that some envious reprobates are calling rap and hip-hop. So who loves ya? Ask ya momma. —several eds.